Today, life hit me like a truck. I realized friends aren’t forever, and those who say they are, are optimistic liars.
I also realized I’m an optimistic fool.
I believe this word, I cherish this word, I cling to it, love it, and most of all fear it. Forever. Its the happiest, depressing word I know. Nothing is forever, but you have to cherish the time before forever runs out. You have to accept it for what it truly is, not what it can be, and that’s the hardest part.
I never wanted to say goodbye, but when you’ve played all your cards and realize that your deck is spent, there isn’t much more you can do. So today, I said goodbye, while hoping it really was only an “Until next time.”
The future holds so much mystery, you never know what’s around the next corner. I can only hope, but I can’t hold my breath. Holding your breath for change can very well be the last breath you take and you end up wasting the opportunities for good in your life.
This is what I’ve learned today. A harsh, cold and unforgiving lesson by the Seductive bitch known as Life.
I’ve wandered Tumblr for a little while, even tried doing game reviews, reblogged some things, posted a handful of things, mainly just browsed. It became my tame /b/, full of random pictures and ramblings, with less of the trolls. It was a nice change of pace.
However, something was missing, similar to how I feel about a lot of things. I realized I wanted to be apart of something more, that I wasn’t content just browsing. I realized that video games seemed to be dull, that my job was lacking, that my social life was falling apart, that my love life seemed to be fading away. I wasn’t happy with any of that.
I decided to make a change, to step out of the comfort zone. I’m trying new things, some with a pinch of familiarity, but new all the same. I’m going to write again, draw again, be excited, take criticism to heart and grow. Today, I’m going to make a change.